Two weeks ago, raising 134k for the RACE project’s next installment seemed next to impossible, only possible by God’s miracle.

Today we have 136k to pay the installment.

Funny I should say, “only possible by God’s miracle.” I don’t think it’s a big task for God by any means. I don’t imagine even one drop of sweat beading on His brow to make it happen.

And yet, I think it’s a pretty big deal. Less because of God’s obvious capability, and more because I’m experiencing growing pains in letting go of the god of my superstitions.

I have a hard time coming to grips with my doubts. I’m realizing that I expect to find disappointment in God’s Will for me. Because I seem to never know when or if my needs or desires align with God’s will, it’s a lot easier for me to accept disappointment while cautiously embracing happiness. Although I know His will to be good and perfect, I believe that in my imperfection, I’ll rarely pray for the “right things at the right time.”

Whether I’m praying to find lost keys, (maybe God is teaching me a lesson in being more organized) or asking Him to provide funds for the rescue home, I’m equally unsure if His will is “Of course I’ll provide that” or “wrong prayer, try again.”

I read something interesting recently about how people become comfortable with an unfriendly God, “who keeps them in their place by ensuring their continued distress.” Comfortable with that!

But when I look at my life, He hasn’t treated me that way at all. Only because of the uncertainty on whether my desires align with God’s do I approach life with this ridiculous caution.  This attitude is totally against Jesus’ teaching. In Matthew, Jesus is recorded as saying,

“You parents – if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” Matthew 7:9-11

There’s a huge truth in this scripture. God wants good for us, and He doesn’t have some twisted idea of what is good. It’s not God’s will to give us a snake when we ask for a fish, not even to “teach a lesson.”

Another truth from the Bible is found in Paul’s letter to the Hebrews where he writes,

“And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

I don’t have to expect “bad things” so I can spin-doctor it into a good lesson from God because the Bible teaches us that He will reward us, and He will give us good gifts when we seek Him and ask. One way I can increase assurance that I’m seeking God’s will is to seek Him more and grow in my relationship through prayer and embracing the truths of Scripture. Because it’s there that we find His good will toward us written in the Blood of the Lamb.

I don’t have to cautiously accept good things as if God hasn’t actually meant it for me. I have to start acknowledging God’s specific goodness to me. As free as I feel to acknowledge the lessons, struggles, challenges etc. as blessings, I should feel equally free accept the things that make me happy, the deep fulfillment I get in serving, and even the “smallest” details He’s orchestrated that bring me joy. Not simply for the sake of my joy, but for His Glory that I might delight in it.

God blessed the RACE project beyond what was needed for the current installment. I have to believe that with prayer, He will bless with everything needed for the final installment as well.